Scared
by Crittab
Summary: When someone finally tells Haley something, is it too much for her to handle? Warning, character death. (Sorry, I posted this under the wrong username, Pammy. I promise it is mine, Pammy is my sister's account, who forgot to log out) One shot fic


Scared  
  
I am so scared. I don't think I've ever been more so. Just a few days ago I was living, I was being a normal teen, playing basketball, and hanging out with my friends. I was having fun, enjoying everything that was taking place around me. Now, I'm just scared.  
  
I want to go back to the way things were. I'm tired of the sterol hospital corridors. I'm tired of them poking and prodding her, looking for what's wrong with my mom. They gave us an educated guess after some of the tests. They aren't sure though. How can this be true?  
  
Cancer.  
  
It's a word we've all come to fear, but never expect will happen to us. Well, it's not happening to me. It's happening to the next closest thing.  
  
How can she have a tumor growing inside of her and not know it? I'm so confused. I want out of this nightmare, but I can't get out. Let me out, Please?  
  
"Everybody's got their problems  
  
everybody says the same things to you  
  
It's just a matter how you solve them  
  
and knowing how to change the things you've been through"  
  
Lucas Scott walked through the cramped halls of Tree Hill High, alongside his best friend Haley James. They got to their lockers and pulled out their biology books.  
  
"So, what are you up to this weekend?" Haley asked Lucas.  
  
"No plans. Just helping mom and the Café I guess. What about you?"  
  
"Same. Well, your mom at the café," they shared a light laugh.  
  
"Hey, did you finish that assignment for English?" Lucas asked.  
  
"Uh yeah. You did too, didn't you?"  
  
"Uh-"  
  
"Lucas, come on, you had a week to do it."  
  
"I know, I know, I've just been busy, you know?"  
  
"With what?"  
  
"Uh- basketball. And other assignments."  
  
"You didn't show up for your last three basketball games, and I was sitting next to Skills and Mouth, so I know you weren't at the park. And, Mr. Callahan has been out all week, so no homework from there. And I know for a fact your other teachers have been going light on you guys. Come on Luke, what's up?"  
  
"Just- nothing. Forget it."  
  
"Lucas, you've always told me everything, why can't you tell me this?"  
  
"Because it's personal."  
  
"When has that ever stopped you?"  
  
"When it's about my mother," he brushed past her and walked faster. She ran to catch up with him and pushed him into an empty classroom, closing the door behind them.  
  
"What's wrong with your mom?" He looked at her with sad eyes.  
  
"It's nothing," he tried to brush past her, but she stopped him.  
  
"I'm not letting you leave until you tell me what's wrong."  
  
"Look, Haley, there is nothing to tell."  
  
"Uh huh, and I've been friends with you long enough to know when you're lying. Why won't you talk to me, Lucas? We are supposed to be best friends."  
  
"We are, you are my best friend Hales, I just can't tell you this. I can't tell anyone."  
  
"Why not?"  
  
"Because mom told me not to."  
  
"When has that ever stopped you?"  
  
"Look, you don't understand. Mom will tell you when the times right, she's not even sure about it. Just relax okay? We need to get to class."  
  
"What is wrong with Karen?"  
  
"Haley."  
  
"No, you are not going anywhere until you tell me."  
  
"It's nothing Haley. Mom and I aren't the only people with problems, we will deal with this just as calmly and quietly as anyone else would."  
  
"What? You're not making any sense," Haley grabbed his arm as he tried to walk out again, but this time in his eyes she saw tears. Lucas Scott didn't cry, it was forbidden to him.  
  
"I can't do this with you right now. Please just let me go," he pleaded. She silently nodded and let him leave, but stayed for a moment gathering her, and wondering what was going on.  
  
That afternoon when Haley got to the café, Keith was at the counter instead of Karen.  
  
"Oh, Haley, I'm glad you're here. I don't know what I'm doing," he greeted. She walked behind the counter to stand beside him.  
  
"Why are you here? Where's Karen?"  
  
"She umm- she took a sick day. She should be back tomorrow. Hey, can you close up tonight?"  
  
"Uh, sure. I have to tutor Nathan, but we can do that here. What's wrong with Karen?"  
  
"Oh, um, just the flu."  
  
"You're lying."  
  
"No I'm not."  
  
"Yes you are! Why won't anyone tell me what is going on with Karen?"  
  
"Look, Haley, when Karen wants you to know, she'll tell you herself."  
  
"Why does everyone keep saying that? I wan to know what's wrong with her now."  
  
"We all do, kid. Look, I got to get to the body shop, can you hold down the fort?"  
  
"You could for half a day, how hard can it be?" she joked. He just laughed.  
  
"True. Lucas should be coming in soon, just tell him to get to work."  
  
"Easier said that done," Keith smiled.  
  
"See you later Haley."  
  
"Bye." Once he was gone she muttered to herself, "and the mystery continues."  
  
Haley called Nathan to inform him that their session would be at the café that night, then returned to giving coffee to the people in the diner. About half an hour after she got there, Lucas came in.  
  
"Hey," she said, a little unsure.  
  
"Hi," he responded in kind.  
  
"So - um about this morning."  
  
"Oh, it's no problem. I'm sorry I kind of flipped at you."  
  
"Hey, I'm used to it," he quirked a brow, she just laughed.  
  
"So, Keith said for me to put you to work."  
  
"Oh, that was nice of him," she just rolled her eyes.  
  
"Go get their orders, then top of people's coffee," Haley ordered. Lucas mock saluted.  
  
"Your wish is my command, Queen Haley." They shared a laugh, and with that knew everything would be okay between them.  
  
Haley closed up the café earlier than usual. She had a headache coming on with the force of a tsunami. She turned the open sign to closed, cleaned off the counters, turned everything off, then locked the door behind and headed home.  
  
On her way home, she bumped right into an old woman carrying groceries. Despite her ever-growing throbbing headache, the moral person inside her wouldn't let her walk away. Instead she took a bag from the woman and walked her the rest of the way home, before completing the journey to her own home.  
  
When she got home, she turn on the answering machine playback and went into the kitchen to get some Advil. She swallowed back the two capsules, then retreated to the living room, and plopped on the couch to hear the messages.  
  
'You have three new messages," came the electronic woman.  
  
"Wonderful," she said aloud to herself.  
  
"Haley, your Mom and I are stuck in New York overnight. There's a crazy storm and the flights out have all been canceled. Sorry we won't be home until it clears up. Be careful, and call us before you go to bed."  
  
"Haley, hey it's Nathan. I'm uh-, I'm no good at leaving messages, so um, right, just call me later. Right, uh- bye."  
  
"Haley, you have to come to the hospital as soon as you get home. I'm sorry about everything that went on today, but when you get here I'll tell you everything. Please, come Haley. I need a friendly face."  
  
Haley jumped up when she heard the last message. It was from Lucas.  
  
Lucas sat in the waiting room next to Keith. Karen's doctor had called earlier that night and told them all to come in immediately. They weren't positive, but he was pretty sure they could diagnose Karen now.  
  
She was being situated in a room, and then the doctors needed more tests, so Lucas and Keith were left to wallow in their thoughts in the waiting room.  
  
Haley came rushing in, interrupting them from their thoughts.  
  
"Oh my God, Lucas, what's wrong, where's your Mom?" she asked, in a complete panic.  
  
"I'm going to get some coffee, do you guys want some?" Keith asked. They both shook their heads no, and then he left to give them a moment to themselves.  
  
"Lucas what happened?"  
  
"The doctors aren't sure yet. They said there was a chance it wasn't true, the tests were inconclusive," he began to ramble as tears sprung to his eyes.  
  
"What tests," she grabbed the sides of his face, forcing him to focus. "Luke, what's happening? Please tell me?"  
  
"They think she has cancer. Cancer, Haley. Mom can't have cancer, she can't," this was the first time Haley had ever seen Lucas completely break down. She led him back to the chairs and let his rest his head on her shoulder as he sobbed. She was still in a state of shock. Karen was supposed to be the undefeatable wonder woman. She looked up to her in every aspect of her life.  
  
"I'm so sorry, Lucas, so sorry," she kept repeating, trying to both calm him, and herself. Tears were making their way out of her eyes at this point as well. Lucas raised his head after he'd calmed a bit.  
  
"I'm so scared, Haley. She can't have cancer."  
  
"I know, Luke. I know. But they aren't sure, right? The tests weren't positive?"  
  
"They aren't sure."  
  
"We can't let this scare us yet, we don't know yet," she was now trying more to calm her own nerves than his.  
  
"Why her, Haley? She doesn't deserve this, she's done nothing wrong."  
  
"No, she hasn't," Haley pulled him into a tight embrace as they let their feelings meld into an oasis of fear, pain, and acceptation.  
  
"I fear I've come to realize  
  
How fast life can be compromised  
  
Stand back to see what's going on  
  
I can't believe this happened to you, this happened to you"  
  
Haley and Lucas fell asleep together in the sterol waiting room of St. James hospital. Neither noticed as Keith, or hospital tenants came through.  
  
The two woke up around two A.M, surprised by the blinding lights in the room.  
  
"Hey," Haley said in a mere whisper. He looked up; her tear stained face matching his own.  
  
"Hey," he whispered.  
  
"What time is it?" Lucas looked at his watch.  
  
"2:13. We've been asleep for five hours."  
  
"You needed the sleep. I doubt you've had much in the last few days."  
  
"You know me too well."  
  
"It's both a blessing and a curse," he half smiled.  
  
"I had a dream."  
  
"Which sometimes happens when we sleep."  
  
"Very funny. No, it was more like snapshots that a dream. It was like my whole life wrapped up into pictures. I could see my fourth birthday party. Do you remember that one where the clown fell into the cake?"  
  
"You wouldn't stop crying," she laughed, for a moment, he took part in the laugh.  
  
"Well, it started with that. Then it was that time mom took me to Disney world. I was seven, and we spent most of the time on the teacups because I was too afraid to do anything else."  
  
"You always were a wuss."  
  
"Hey, cut me some slack, I was a little kid."  
  
"Slack cut and given to you. Continue."  
  
"Okay, then there was that time you and I caught a frog down at the lake. Remember, it got loose in the Café?"  
  
"Karen freaked when we found it in the coffee bunt cake."  
  
"No one would go in the café for a week."  
  
"Except for my parents, and Keith."  
  
"Okay, next was when I broke my arm, remember we were seeing who could jump the highest on your old trampoline and I fell off?"  
  
"Oh yeah, the side of the deck broke your fall."  
  
"Mom was so scared, she rushed me to the emergency room, but they wouldn't take us because she couldn't afford insurance."  
  
"She wrapped up your arm herself, and put a splint in it to keep it from moving."  
  
"Then there was the time when we were ten. She found us using her makeup to dress up your old dog."  
  
"Cleo never was the same after that."  
  
"You know, we used to pull a lot of crap, but she never got seriously mad at us."  
  
"Except for that one time- "  
  
"Yeah. We were pretending to be prom king and queen," Lucas supplied.  
  
"Not just prom king and queen, Dan and your mom prom king and queen."  
  
"She had every right to hate me after that."  
  
"You? It was my idea."  
  
"Yeah, but everything stupid we did was your idea," Haley smacked him lightly.  
  
"I deserved that," Lucas amended jokingly.  
  
"Yeah you did. So, anything else in that time capsule dream of yours?"  
  
"Not really, just a few small things. The really insignificant things that stick with you, like when you scraped your elbow and she closed down the café to go home and get you a band aide with the sesame street characters on it," Haley's eyes filled with tears.  
  
"She wanted to make me happy."  
  
"And she always did."  
  
"God, I hope she's alright."  
  
"Me too. I can't stand just waiting like this."  
  
"Neither can I."  
  
"I just feel so useless. Like I should be doing something, but what?"  
  
"I know, Luke. There's nothing we can do but wait, and that can sometimes be the hardest thing to do."  
  
"You sound like you're in a soap."  
  
"Hey, I didn't get my General Hospital fix today, give me a break. Oh, god, I need to call my parents, they're probably worried sick."  
  
"I didn't know they were home."  
  
"They aren't, but dad asked me to call him when I went to bed. He's probably freaking right now."  
  
"You go ahead. I'm going to go sit with mom," Haley took his hand and squeezed it with her support.  
  
"I'll be in, in a few minutes."  
  
"You should go home, it's late."  
  
"No way. I'm staying right here. Now go see your mom," She stood.  
  
"I love you, Hales."  
  
"I love you too, Luke."  
  
"It's just a problem that we're faced with  
  
Am I not the only one that hates to standby  
  
Complication's headed first in this line  
  
With all these pictures running through my mind  
  
Knowing endless consequences  
  
I feel so useless in this  
  
can't patch that back and as for me, I can't believe"  
  
When Lucas walked in the room, Keith and Karen were talking lowly.  
  
"Hey, Honey," Karen greeted,  
  
"Hi," he leant down and kissed her forehead.  
  
"Did you just wake up?" Keith asked.  
  
"Uh, yeah. Haley just went to call her parents in New York. So, did the doctors tell you anything concrete yet?"  
  
"You'll be the first to know when they do, Hon. Why is Haley here?"  
  
"I called her earlier tonight. I needed a friend."  
  
"Is she alright?"  
  
"She's taking it kind of hard, but who isn't?" Lucas said, just then Haley walked in.  
  
"Hey. What are you doing up?" she asked. Karen smiled.  
  
"I should ask you the same question. You should go home, Haley."  
  
"No way. Why do all of you guys want me out of here?" She plopped down un Lucas' lap."  
  
"Because you're heavy," Lucas supplied. She smiled ruefully at him.  
  
"Shut up."  
  
"Yes, Lucas, shut up," Karen said with a grin. The four laughed lightly.  
  
"So, any idea how long you're going to be in here?" Haley asked.  
  
"The doctors want to keep me in here until they find out what's wrong with me for sure, which may not be very long, since they are pretty sure about this whole cancer thing," Karen answered. She sat up a little more in her bed, and moved over so Haley could lay down with her, and get off Lucas. Once they were all situated, Keith continued the conversation.  
  
"What about the café?"  
  
"I guess I'll have to close it. There's no way I can keep it up if they're right," she resignedly said. Lucas shook his head.  
  
"No way, I can work there everyday, so can Haley. We'll hire on some more help if we need to."  
  
"And pay them how? I make all of the food, Lucas, and I know for a fact you did not inherit my capabilities."  
  
"I can cook. Not as well as you, but I can make enough food to keep people coming," Haley said. Karen rested her head on Haley's shoulder.  
  
"I really don't want you guys to have to worry about this. You have school, tutoring, and basketball. There's no way you can do all of that and run a café."  
  
"Look, we don't even know if there's need to worry yet. You said there was nothing concrete, fine, we can all just hold out hope that they were wrong." Lucas said. Karen smiled and motioned for him to come over. She hugged him and Haley close to her.  
  
"I love you both so much, and I love the though, but you still can't run a café by yourselves."  
  
"I'll do it," Keith said. Karen looked at him.  
  
"You still have the body shop to take care of. You can't handle a café either."  
  
"Look, I can help, with the three of us, I'm sure we can keep the café running until you're back on your feet."  
  
"Yeah, come on Karen. You have worked way to hard to let this go down the drain," Haley said. Karen smiled at the three of them.  
  
"I'm not going to win, am I?"  
  
"Doesn't look like it," Lucas said.  
  
"Fine, but them moment either of your grades drop, or you start losing business, your all out of there. Got it?"  
  
"Deal," the three of them said. After that they fell into a comfortable conversation, soon followed by much needed sleep.  
  
"Part of me, won't agree  
  
Cause I don't know if it's for sure  
  
Suddenly, suddenly  
  
I don't feel so insecure  
  
Anymore  
  
Everybody's got their problems  
  
everybody says the same things to you  
  
It's just a matter how you solve them  
  
what else are we supposed to do"  
  
Days passed and with them several doctors examinations. They found out Karen did indeed have lung cancer, which wasn't a surprise, but it was still a horrible thing to hear. Haley and Lucas had been trying fruitlessly to pay attention in classes, and work hard at the diner, while still visiting Karen regularly at the hospital. They were keeping her there for the duration of her chemo because they said she and a low immune system. They wanted to keep her on a drip.  
  
Within months her condition had deteriorated to a critical level, leaving her weak, and without many of her normal functions. She had been bed ridden for weeks.  
  
Lucas, Haley, and Keith had been forced to close down the café, do to time and budget constrictions, leaving them all emotionally and physically drained.  
  
As the cancer progressed, Lucas began basically living in the hospital. Haley had brought him assignments from school, and changes of clothes from home.  
  
One day when she got home from school, she got another phone message.  
  
"Haley, you need to come down here right away. The doctors don't think she's going to last much longer. I need you Hales."  
  
Haley found Keith and Lucas at Karen's bedside when she arrived. Karen was comatose. A Scott boy was holding each of her hands.  
  
"Hey," Haley said from the door. Lucas looked up at her tearfully. He held out he left arm and she ran into his inviting arms.  
  
"I'm sorry, Luke."  
  
"I'm just glad you're here."  
  
"Me too. How long?"  
  
"The doctors don't give her long. A few hours tops," Keith said resignedly.  
  
"What can I do?"  
  
"Just sit with us. Everyone she would want here is here. Lets just be with her now."  
  
The next few hours passed in silence other than the mechanical sound of her heart beating above her bed. Just when they became used to the steady beeping of the heart monitor, it came to a steady tone.  
  
A nurse rushed in and pronounced her dead, turning off the heart monitor, she left them so their thoughts.  
  
The room was deadly quiet for several minutes. Silent tears dripped from each of their faces. Haley buried her face into Lucas' neck and hugged him tightly.  
  
"I'm sorry," she whispered. He looked up at her and then rested his head on her shoulder.  
  
The next days passed slowly and painfully, but they always had each other. And that, perhaps, was the most important thing.  
  
"Why do things that matter the most  
  
Never end up cutting close  
  
Now that I find out, it ain't so bad  
  
I don't think I knew what I had  
  
Part of me, won't agree  
  
Cause I don't know if it's for sure  
  
Suddenly, suddenly  
  
I don't feel so insecure"  
  
Disclaimer: Don't own One Tree Hill, or Hell Song, by Sum 41 


End file.
